Football Poets

Night Swimming.

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 A bit of televised afters, off The Mall
Had seen this old one and his gal
Stagger home with vocal effervescence
Belting bawdy songs out loud
The parks police had done ‘em’ proud
With a fireman’s carry down The Duke of Yorkshire’s Steps.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 As ‘The Hymn To Liberty’ aroused the night
It’s rousing chorus caused a flight
Of passing geese, to crash abruptly to the cud.
Whilst London lovers on park benches
Felt Richter shocks within their clenches
As the couple slaughtered Cats: “Ruby My Love”.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 On that bridge across Parks Lake
The old carouser thought he’d take
A midnight swim – in an act of sheer bravado
So as he was getting off his kit
His bird majestically quipped:
“A sovereign says you’ll never dive in blindfold?”

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 A cummerbund across his eyes
He points his hands aloft then dives
In to the murky waters ‘neath’ the bridge
There were waters rats awakened
Courting swans profusely shaken
Whilst his bird seemed proud her man looked pretty fiddle fit.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The noise reached number ten
Where Cameron and his men
Were hatching desperate plots to save the coalition
Dave joked to assembly of MP’s
‘That rackets nowt to do with me’
From the sound of it, be best to call the cops in’

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Scotland Yard received reports
On bawdy songs and naked jaunts
Upon a bridge inside St James Park
So a crack squad from The Met
Were roused and quickly sent to check
Just who, was skinny dipping after dark?

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 I’m told The Suns front page was held
Word even made The New York Herald
As Sky News rushed reporters to the scene
Where a majestic bird wrapped in a blanket
Surveyed the media almost frantic
As she watched Adonis face a charge of d and d.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 On regally stepping forward
She took a breath and paused
Then looked the gathered snappers in the eye
Her quiet mood and stout demeanour
Restored a calmness to the media
Then to the question – who are you? She thus replied;

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 “I’m your Queen, and this here Adonis is my Philip,
Pray what’s wrong with mid-night dips,
After a bit of bouzouki, and ouzo followed by keftedakia
It’s a while since that old Grecian took me out
So what’s this bleedin tragedy about?
Philips Greece have just been beat by Costa Rica.”

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