Opening an account

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 A maudlin marksman
Enters a bank

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 S : “I’d like to open an account, please.”
B : “Name?”
S : “A Striker.”
B : “Occupation?”
S : “Professional footballer.”
B : “Position held?”
S : “Striker.”
B : (thinks : “hmm, dilemma there, needs to be less disruptive.”)
B : “Address?”
S : “9, Up Front, Goalsville.”
B : “Salary?”
S : “Extortionate.”
B : “And what currency do you propose to deal in?”
S : “Goals.”
B : “Ah, we have a problem there.
You see, they’re very hard to get,
you just cannot buy them at the moment.
And it’s impossible to order them.
They’re in very short supply,
although, you could possibly make a few.
Some are coming from the most unexpected sources.
But usually, it’s the same old bankers, that come up with the goods.
Yet, if you’re thinking of plundering from here,
you’ve got another think coming :
our defences are tight
and our safe well guarded.
In short, you won’t be opening your account here.
Thank you for your application, Mr Strikeout,
but your request is denied, the process complete :
all we can offer you –
– (slides forward a blank page), – is a clean sheet.



inspired by Mateja Kezman – good to see he has finally
‘opened his Premiership account’ :
‘Kezza’ scored the last goal, via a cheeky chipped penno,
in the 4-0 demolition of Newcastle on Saturday.

S : Striker
B : Bank teller (or, yes, you’ve guessed it, metaphorically, the opposition!)

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/opening-an-account/