The only advantage of peeing in the rain
is that, if you have a little accident,
no-one notices, as you’re already soaked!
1979. A fine vintage. A smattering
of Cunningham, a dash of Bomber Brown.
A whoosh of Regis up your nostrils.
A fragrant concoction of Robson, Batson,
Wile, Statham and the rest.
But, in terms of spending a penny,
we were Dark Ages, Black Death, Draconian,
Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun, Dickensian-
We were peeing in the rain.
Not that we minded, as we queued patiently
at the outdoor urinals, thirty seconds into
half time and contemplating whether it was feasible
to hold your breath for over five minutes-
No, what did we care? We were title contenders,
playing in Europe, total football, world beaters-
it was…. it was just like watching Brazil.
Just peeing in the rain, just peeing in the rain,
What a glorious felling, I’m happy again…..