1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 QUESTION. NAME?

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 OLD PLAYER’S. Willie,Stanley,Bobby.
MODERN PLAYERS. Jermaine, Darren, Robbie.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Q. WHERE WERE Dagenham,Glasgow, Durham,
YOU BORN? I left home in me early teens.
Lagos, Paris, Rome,
and lovely MIlton Keynes.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 WHERE DO A terraced house in Croydon,
YOU LIVE? not far from the training pitch,
I’d like to live out further,
but I’ll never be that rich.
A ten bedroomed Tudor Mansion,
in Wilmslow or the Wirral,
surrounded by ten acres,
with foxes, deers and squirrels.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 MARRIED? Yes to the girl,
who lived next door.
Live with partner,
for how long not sure.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 FAVOURITE FOOD? Steak and chips, and the Sunday roast,
and in the morning beans on toast.
Pasta, Pasta, and plenty of fruit,
vitamins, creatine and ginseng root.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 FAVOURITE DRINK? Lager, milk and pints of stout.
Designer water, to cleanse toxins out.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 FAVOURITE HOLIDAY Devon, Blackpool, Margate.
DESTINATION? A trip to the Brighton Pier.
We never won promotion,
so we can’t afford no trips this year.
My private beach in Cyprus.
My posh Sardinian villa.
Disney World in Florida,
for the kids it is a thrilla.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 MOST INFLUENCE ON Got to be the gaffer you know,
YOUR CAREER? you know , you know, you know.
He gave me old man twenty quid,
and signed me well you know.
My agents had a massive influence,
but I’ve now a massive moan,
he got me a massive contract,
but now I’m out on loan.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 DO YOU ENJOY On me way up to the ground,
BANTER WITH I meet them on the bus,
THE FANS? they wish me well and clap me,
and generally make a fuss.
I run to them at the end of games,
hands clapping above my head,
but when they ask me for my autograph,
it’s something that I dread.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 WHO ARE YOU Just to keep the peace,
CLOSEST TO I’d better say the wife.
IN LIFE? My bodyguard and minders,
they’re the ones who save my life.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 WHAT DO YOU The eight hour trips to Cumbria,
HATE MOST ABOUT and far off destinations.
AWAY TRAVEL? Trying to hold the pee in ,
till we reach the service station.
Queuing at the airport,
for our eight minute flight to Stoke,
unable to use our cell phones,
the whole thing is a joke.

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 WHO DO YOU Nobby Stiles, the taxman,
FEAR MOST? the gaffer, Dave Mackay.
The News of the World and People,
they’re after me on the sly.

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 FASHION ACCESSORY? My big red jar of brylcream,
to help me part my hair.
Milan designer clothing,
and a model who is fair.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 TOUGHEST THING Returning after three months off,
ABOUT TRAINING? and sweating off three stone.
Practicing goal celebrations,
and diving on your own.

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 WHAT DO YOU DO Up to the nearby bookie,
AFTER TRAINING? then up to the local pub.
Open up a wine bar,
and soak in a nice steam tub.

17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 MOST PRIZED A Duncan Edwards autograph.
POSSESSION? My only England cap.
My cell phone and Ferrari,
and the computer on my lap.

18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 WHAT WOULD YOU DO Down the mines with me dad.
IF YOU WEREN’T A Try and learn a trade.
FOOTBALLER? Model or a dee – jay,
so my talents on parade.

19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 WHAT ARE YOU Maybe coach the juniors,
GOING TO DO or buy a little bar.
WHEN YOU RETIRE? Have to work on the docks again,
cos my savings won’t go far.
Write my fifth auto-biography,
and host my own chat show.
Trade in my ageing partner,
and enjoy my well earned doe.

20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 FINALLY LADS. To the children in Biafra,
WHERE SHALL I it is a worthy cause.
DONATE THE MONEY To my Testimonial dinner fund,
FOR THIS INTERVIEW? where I’ll receive deserved applause.



a cynical view of the modern player.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/players-profiles-past-present/