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T’was the final match of the season
He’d soon be finished and then shown the door
(Though he’d really miss it, he thought)
While two young blokes in their teens
On the opposite team
Looked on him as their bit of personal sport.
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First time he went in for a tackle
He was nut-megged, left red-faced on his a**e
As one fleet footed teenager glided on past
With “Did yer like that one Grand-dad?” and laughed.
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The other young fella
Not wishing to be outdone
Rushing by him, cutely pulled on his ear
Then at a corner, a rabbit punch to his stomach
Laid him out and left gasping for air.
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With a wry smile he rose from the carpet of green
Helped up by his team mates and the ref
Stared at the smiling young faces, nearby laughing at him
As two little problems he would need to address.
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After the next corner coming in to the goalmouth
Had been discreetly cleared by the old fella’s fist
A young bloke was left on the penalty spot, a bloody mouth
With three teeth (later found on the goal line) on the gone missing list.
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Then the old fella lumbered up for a free kick
To the other teams box, and stationed himself near the goal
Tried to put his head on the ball, then on finding he missed
Accidentally on purpose Scotch kissed the other young fella’s nose.
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There was pushing and shoving as team-mates got angry
Injury time would be added on at the end
As the young fella staggered off, nose in a Beaujolais hankie
The old fella bade him farewell with his hand.
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Whispering quietly in his ear, so no one stood near by could listen:
“You and yer cocky mate get well soon my son?
Thanks for today and you know what?
I’ve really enjoyed this and the season that much
I’m thinking of hanging around for another one
You might even get the chance of a re-match next season?”