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robbin’ Robben with rules

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Rockin’ Robben, so good – you daren’t ignore him
Scores the winning goal, runs to the fans – who absolutely adore him
On the way, he jumps the advertising hoarding, but stops at the barrier
The fans run out to joyfully embrace, hailing their heroic harrier
As do his teammates, but not the ref, who brandishes second yellow and therefor red
Arjen, totally flabberghasted, holds his hands to his head
And Mr Foy, curtails all joy
My first reaction – well I suppose rules are rules
But the tv studios, know the fans don’t suffer fools
Both Sky and Match of the Day, study the rulebook
And it’s plainly obvious, even with just one look :
– did he run to goad the oppositions fans? No
– did he incite the crowd? No
– did he leap the barrier? No
– did he dwell too long? No
– “And the referee should show some common sense” – quite plainly, a big fat NO
Now I’m not a referee basher, I know they’ve a difficult job
But surely, surely, surely, they don’t have to make us sob
Yes, stamp out the tackle from behind
Yes, eliminate the errant elbows, with the potential to leave you blind
Yes, eradicate the professional foul, that’s blighted us for years
Yes, banish the bad language, the assualt upon the ears
But sending off for a goalscoring celebration?
Is the game not all about, this feeling of elation?
Anyway, just to help FIFA and the FA
I have a suggestion, a simple amendment, to the written rules of play :
Let the players celebrate, any way they want
Be it rehearsed, off the cuff, or somewhat nonchalant
Let them run off where-so-ever they like
Mimicking modes of transport – plane, train or bike
Let them do a lap of honour, or jump into the stands
To be pulled at, by a clamouring of hands
Let them take their time, milk all the applause
Entertain with their posturing, drawing guffaws
But then, also let the opposition, to kick off within 20 seconds –
No matter where the celebrants are – on or off the pitch; let it be that the referee’s watch beckons
Introduce this, and I will guarantee
That everybody wins – fans and players still get to share their glee
But there will be no over-drawn performance
A chance to rejoice, yes – but also conformance

Notes

Sunday 15th January :
Sunderland 1 Chelsea 2

Referee : Mr C Foy

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/robbin-robben-with-rules/?shared=email&msg=fail