Safe Side Of The Screen
Football is all around me, but only by association. Not something I’ve played
much myself, but always there, through my friendships. In Ireland, my first
home, not so much of the soccer as the Gaelic football. Only one girl in our
class was allowed to play – with the boys! The rest of us stood watching,
envying the rugged Roisín, yet glad not to take part in something so tough
and teamly.
In 1970, aged six, I collected World Cup coins from Mobil petrol stations. In
the heat, Alan Ball’s face shimmered from every other disc. His wife, Lesley
Ball I remember from a more sinister sauce – the Bisto gravy ads in my
granny’s Family Circle magazines.
My mother had table football, a sub-subbuteo. To this day, I’m never sure
why, as the only other boy’s toy she had was an Action Man in training for
the priesthood, knees eternally bent in front of a plastic altar, cold and
naked as he waited in vain for his vestments! Is it any wonder my brothers
became altar boys?
From ‘70 to ‘80, the only footballs in my life were cheesy footballs, a
snack served at occasional drinks parties and other grown-up functions.
Scotland sang briefly about Ally’s tartan army in ’78, but their own goal
ceded to Iran in Argentina made more impression than any other performance.
At my Scottish convent, we were led to believe that rugby was more desirable.
Accordingly, my first great crush was on a flanker!
Scotland again qualified for the World Cup in ’82, and by this time I was
marginally interested, roaring with rage the night they lost to Russia. I was
drinking – legally at last – with a St Mirren player, a relative of the
Scotland squad’s John Wark. (Name-dropping extends no further than this!)
My first boyfriend was, bizarrely, a policeman who charged a crowd at a
football match and burned books at Greenham Common. Ours was a stormy match,
and so too was the next, where my ‘big man’ argued that he’d rather be going
to the match on Saturday with his mate Gordon than spending his time with me.
He never went, though, and neither did he ever take me. I still haven’t been
to a ‘real’ game, though I’ve feared the crowds of Hibs and Hearts, and
later Arsenal, Chelsea, West Ham, and Milwall. Perhaps if I went, I wouldn’t.
I’m told it’s too expensive – now.
The years and the Cups went by, giving way to Euro ’96, for me the definitive
nerve-gnawing moment – my Czech friend was staying in England. I’d once
shared a flat with her in a shoe-making town in Czechoslovakia. Together in
’96 we passed through London on Final day, a London plastered with Czech
notices, its streets running with Pils and Slavic songs. She boarded the
coach to Prague, and I took the train back to Gloucester.
I bit all my nails that night, the night they lost to the Germans.
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
My Account
Latest Poems
joe morris
17th April 2024
Clik The Mouse
15th April 2024
Mike Bartram
15th April 2024
joe morris
14th April 2024
Mike Bartram
11th April 2024
joe morris
11th April 2024
Alex Saynor
9th April 2024
Denys E. W. Jones
8th April 2024
joe morris
8th April 2024
Mike Bartram
3rd April 2024
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
19th March 2024 at 8:00 am
Hi Crispin. Chris Sutton on the radio has gone for a Chelsea v Coventry final. As we know anything can happen in the Cup, and I reckon we can go to the final.
We’re still in with a chance of the play offs too, so lots to go for.
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19th March 2024 at 7:41 am
Hey Kev
Let the masses drool over their odds on City v Unted Final, but who knows how pressure can hit.
Cov and Chels will be rightly labelled as having no chance..but hey …stranger things have happened..
so Chelsea v Coventry…that’s the Final for us!
Best
C
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29th January 2024 at 10:03 pm
Hi Crispin,
How are you doing mate? Yes, you’re probably right but hey football is all about emotion and passion and I just love writing about the game. I try to keep my poetry to a reasonable length but there’s so much to write about the game and its literature just lends itself naturally to poetry. Sometimes I just get completely carried and I do apologise for the length of my poetry but it’s a great thrill to be associated with Football Poets.
Cheers mate
Joe
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10th January 2024 at 7:52 pm
You’re right of course Joe but…..it’s actually more of a big welcome break for everyone who is not into Premier League ..I’m talking fans of EFL National League and below…..
Btw …is this actually your longest poem ever !?
Best
Crispin
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8th January 2024 at 4:45 pm
Thanks!
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8th January 2024 at 10:42 am
There’s something so evocative and nostalgic for football fans the world over, in ‘revisiting’ old lost grounds.
Occasionally some remnants remain, with perhaps part of a wall or part or a stand or thre shape of a terrace, but often they are only still there in faded images and in our heads..
Great stuff Graham
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4th January 2024 at 10:13 am
A great idea and well executed. Thanks Graham.
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19th November 2023 at 1:45 pm
Thanks Gacina, glad you liked it, and I have just posted a new one about our points deduction…
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7th November 2023 at 6:34 pm
Today B.B.C post on F.B was titled:Premier League reduced to 18 clubs? I really think it may be interesting to see if this would be Everton’s nightmare and this poem is well suited for this concern.If there would be more difficult battle to stay if there were 18 teams.Great poem and somehow true.
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6th November 2023 at 4:43 pm
Ashington FC have launched a £50,000 Crowdfunder appeal to meet the increased costs of winning promotion last season, to pay for urgent stadium improvements, travel costs and equipment
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