A footballer called Marty Calf
Said, ‘Bet you’d like my Autograph.’
When I said, ‘no’
Ballistic he did go
And said, ‘Are you having a laugh?’
‘You should be my devotee,
An autograph you should want from me
I’m a world famous star
Who drives a sports car.
My worshipper is what you should be.’
‘My manager said he’d never sell us.
My wife always does tell us
All women want me,
I’m perfect you see,
And she is exceptionally jealous.’
‘I really would have thought
My Autograph would be sought
The exception of none.
But apparently not by your sort.’
I said, ‘You may be a star
But I don’t even know who you are.’
The expression on his face
Turned into disgrace
And the colour of his red sports car.
Still the same colour as strawberry jam,
He shouted, ‘You don’t know who I am?’
‘It was a joke,’ I did state
‘But I’m not a fan mate,
As you do not play for Tottenham.’