Well, hi there, English football fans,
I’m sure you’ve heard of me.
José’s my name, let me explain
My strange philosophee:
Just give me a safe pair of hands,
And five defenders true.
Then four brave boys to hold midfield,
Up front one man will do.
A one-nil win is my ideal,
A goalless draw is fine.
The thought of scoring more than two
Sends shivers down my spine.
If Ten Goal Payne were in my team,
I’d flog ‘im double quick,
And sign some star custodian
To stand between the sticks.
Five-four? That’s an ice hockey score!
Six-nil? You’re talking tennis…
Let’s make it one, don’t mention fun,
‘Cos soccer’s serious bizness.
At Porto I was mastermind,
We soared to dizzy heights.
Now I’m the Boss at Stamford Bridge,
The Title’s in our sights.
Though once or twice we’ve racked up four,
I swear, ‘twas a mistake.
A one-goal-lead is all you need,
One strike is all it takes…
Denys E. W. Jones