Shaun Wright-Phillips acquired a pet ram.
He picked it up reasonably cheapish,
But when it is mentioned,
He gets hyper-tensioned,
And looks quite embarrassed and sheepish.
It costs him a sizeable fortune
To feed this most ravenous beast.
All sheep-hating misers,
Declare that the lad has been fleeced.
Now Shaun gets unmerciful slagging,
But he knows that its par for the course,
But the red mist descends
When some unthinking friends
Discuss the appeal of mint sauce.
The sheep goes to all of the matches,
And viciously bleats at the ref,
And it’s never freaked out
By the crowd round about,
Because it is quite Mutton Jeff.
It stayed well indoors for the Wolves match
(The dangers could not have been clearer.)
And it ran off in shame
At the Newcastle game,
Afraid it might meet Alan Shearer.
The fleece of this ovine companion
Was the talk of the entire town.
In Winter, it fully
Grew fluffy and woolly,
But in Spring, it was Shaun Wright-Down.