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It was one of those days
When…no matter who played
Each chance they created flew in
Youth team coach stood there beaming
Seemed like he woz dreaming
As his young charges fell in to sync.
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“Getting beaten four nought
Who would have thought
A kid of mine would be losing like that?”
Bawled one of the dads
As his sucked on a can
And bleary-eyed took in the match.
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“Oi you get stuck in!”
He screamed at his kid
Who had gently passed back to a mate?
The kid kinda shrugged
As these three dads from the pub
Thought extracting the Michael was ace.
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As the interval came
In a one sided game
The drunkards poured back to their car
Ashamed of their kids
Sank a few more cold tins
Then carried on heckling throughout second half.
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The leading sides sponge man
Looked feeble so one dad
Decided that he would be next
For some verbal abuse
So a mouth spouting booze
Gave it to him full on in the neck.
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When the end was in sight
And the score at nought five
A loose ball got lumped off the pitch
The sponge-man like lightning
With control that was frightening
Hit a volley in to mega mouths midriff.
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Whilst their charges were changing
Two coaches were exchanging
Their views on great skill of the sponge-man
And the beautiful volley
Which had ended the folly
Of mega mouth and his drunken gang.
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“That’s a hell of a shot
Your sponge-man has got
And such power, he hit that drunk hard”
“Yeah and during the week
He drives a dumper truck, which he’s
Just run over that drunken bloke’s car”!