Football Poets

Still The Fastest Hat-Trick Ever

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The young lad from Bournemouth was told he had notched
The fastest three goals ever scored.
But, sadly for him, that suggestion was scotched,
So its back to the old drawing board.
For the record books show us in clear black and white,
Who holds that incredible honour –
‘Twas a great Shelbourne star set the country alight,
And his name was young Jimmy O’Connor.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 It was back in the sixties, November winds blew
Through the game that Bohemian’s were hosting.
Shelbourne were struggling, for Bohs had scored two,
And seemed to be comfortably coasting.
And Dalymount Park boasts a wide, open pitch,
There’s no place to hide when you’re losing,
But no-one expected the denouement, which,
To Shels fans at least, was amusing.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Not for the first time, Paddy Roberts, the Rock,
Won a bone-crunching ball in defence,
And with fifty four minutes up there on the clock,
It was greatly at Bowez’ expense.
The ball was swept forward in true Shelbourne style,
As defence was turned into attack,
And, from a tight angle, young Jimmy, with guile,
Pulled a most unexpected goal back.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Barely had play been restarted when Bohs
Conceded important possession.
Mick Conroy, out right, kept the ball on his toes,
And gave vent to his joyful expression.
And, as the cross sailed, the bould Jimmy broke free
And, with the Bohs’ keeper advancing,
He chipped him with such a rare delicacy,
And set all the Shelbourne fans dancing.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Once more Bohs restarted, and thus Brendan Plaice
Intercepted a pass with great merit.
Stroked it to Garvan, a winger with pace,
Who flew down the wing like a ferret.
He rounded the full-back and crossed with aplomb
To where Jimmy was running at speed.
The header crashed into the net like a bomb –
The world’s fastest hat trick indeed.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Two minutes fourteen was all the time passed
‘Twixt the first of his goals and the third.
Nobody had ever scored three goals as fast,
Or at least, where film footage occurred.
And the Guinness Book of Records examined his claim,
And looked for some verification.
So Jimmy O’Connor achieved special fame
When they published their authentication.

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