Heard we’ve signed Telly Hendry
wicked football player still at thirty six
once an ace striker of great renown
played for some big clubs – I think.
Been top scorer across rural Norfolk
background at Framlingham and at Diss
was scouted by boys up at Wisbech
submitting a record bid – I’m sure.
Once fastest player throughout the Fens
a big old lad with a bigger attitude
was hated by every opposition team
way back in his prime – I guess.
Been eating the pies ever since then
savoury as well as his favourite dessert
slowed him down to walking pace
like Stan Matthews at fifty – I saw him.
Was due to line up against Thetford
a massive game in the Fenland Cup today
needed him to add punch up on top
until officials catch him – I worry.
Bound to attract a really big crowd
could be more than us usual thirty souls
eagerly anticipating a first home win
well good if we could – I can pray.
Rumour we’re having to pay old Telly
worth it if we could only win one match
haven’t tasted victory since at Beccles
and they put out reserves – I admit.
But rain’s been heavy all this morning
big puddles lie over the mud bath park
so a dodgy ref’s decided to postpone it
nothing to do this afternoon – I’m lost.
Suspect that Telly’s now distraught
it was to have been his first game back
after five in the Scrubs for gbh
lad’s got something of a name – I know.
So now that we’ve signed our local hero
our beautiful game will never be the same
for we’ll crash and bang together with
Telly’s wallop to control each match – yes!