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Am I seeing this, is it really true
As I read the paper from the back
There’s not a mention of Englands game
Who’s leading the attack?
As I scour two or three pages in
For any football flashes
The only thing in evidence
Is them blimmin awfull Ashes!
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The new seasons a week old
The transfer talk is rife
Which manager will get the sack?
Have you watched Footballers Wives?
Get them posh blokes off my screen
All cricket whites and tashes
None of this makes any sense to me
Whats with all these Ashes?
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Them Aussies and their beer bellys
Playing a sport for toffs
Harry Kewell and Mark Viduka
Have both asked for time off
Make the pair of them train much harder
Give em forty lashes
Teach them to play football
Not worry about The Ashes!
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I’m told Christian Vieri
Is handy at the crease
He uses to live down under
With kangaroos and geese
In the San Siro he made some runs
And then some frantic dashes
Would he give up his hefty salary
To take part in The Ashes?