The Bloke Who Only Plays When It Suits…Him.
¶ 1
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With a masters degree in either foot
His future looked assured
Then he started to decline the call
When his national team coach called.
¶ 2
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Us fans always knew he wouldn’t play
In some friendly, or on tour
We know when some joke’s working his ticket
We ain’t stupid that’s for sure.
¶ 3
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When his national team were on the road
He cried off and couldn’t play
Yet the papers had a close up of him in a punch up
In some night club, down Sweden way.
¶ 4
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A serious injury the papers said
Does that mean his toe-nail may need growing?
After his P.A. chopped too much of one off
In a pedicure down the gym.
¶ 5
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Photo shoots in glossies
Keep him in the public’s eye
Advertising pizza’s, crisps and coffee
He’s a busy self promoting guy.
¶ 6
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He even turned up on the telly
Gave his considered point of view
On who’d play if he was manager
What our teams attack should do.
¶ 7
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In league games he’s the bees knees
As he turns on passive crowds
Yet when the national coach cries out for him to be there….please
He’s gone AWOL, can’t be found.
¶ 8
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Ah well the club that pay his mighty wages
Are glad he’s fit to play for them
And when World Cup qualifiers come around next time
He’ll be sure to want his place back, in the national side….again!
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