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The Board of Irish Ferries has been blasted from a height,
Accused of shabby practices by all.
But let us reconsider if just maybe they are right
To give the lads from Latvia a call.
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Their message is quite simple – everyone can be replaced
By cheaper staff from Vilnius and Riga.
The truth, though quite distasteful, must be resolutely faced,
Those Baltic lads are ready and they’re eager.
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Our football team’s new manager, whoever he may be
Should maybe start to realign his goals.
Perhaps we’d get to qualify for tournaments if he
Replaced our back four with a set of Poles.
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Yes, Eddie from Estonia and Tom from Tallinn Town
Have skills that are impressive and extensive.
Far be it from me to run the Irish workforce down,
But Jaysus, we’re incredibly expensive.
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These fellers will do anything to earn a full day’s pay,
Like hosing down the streets or picking cherries.
They’d even run the Government, or play in goal for Bray,
Or maybe run the Board of Irish Ferries?
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Yes, let Irish Ferries management stand up and show the way,
A shining light to every friend and neighbour!
Let them all resign en masse, forego their massive pay
And replace themselves with cheaper Baltic labour.