Did I ever tell you about the day
I thought that I had died?
I came to in an operating room
Really bleary eyed!
An Enya cd was playing
Bono led the prayers
Val Doonican wore an Arran sweater
As he sat in his rocking chair!
Tommy Makem was training the choir
Brendan Behan was reciting verse
Paddy Kavanagh told stories of Monaghan
The Bachelors started to curse
Man I was so out of it
Everything was white
I started swearing at a priest
I didn’t give a ####e
The drugs had worn off too quickly
And as I came around
Shiny white tiles and sparkling lights
Reflected off the ground
I thought I was in heaven
And that I had died
I was sure the angels had taken me
For that final ride
I rolled on to my side
To watch the t.v
That was there up on the wall
Ireland were playing football
Shane McGowan was on the ball!
Jack Charlton shouted instructions
Damien Duff ran down the wing
He crossed it for Cascarino
Who dived and headed it in!
The crowd, erupted in to a frenzy
With massive roars of delight
The camera’s switched to the dugout
Where Roy Keane was having a fight!
McGrath tried hard to calm him down
He couldn’t work it out
Why your man has to have a punch up
Every time he has a stout!
They reached halftime at one nil
And trooped off for a cup of tea
Keane had calmed down, so had McGrath
It was beautiful to see!
Sinead lead the half time singing
In a duet with Bertie Ahern
The voice of your man as a tenor
Gave cause for public concern!
Westlife came on as support act
Along with Ronan Keating
The opposition fans were so distraught
Their eardrums had taken a beating
Packie Bonner had suffered an injury
His back was ever so sore
Who would take his place in goal?
‘I will’ says Christy Moore!
Christy played a blinder
The score stayed at one nil
A well manicured Andy Townsend
Spoke with a voice so shrill!
Gay Byrne asked a happy Jack Charlton
For his comments on the game
Jack was so emotional
He forgot Cascarino’s name!
I turned off the t.v in the adverts
And rolled over back on to my back
Christy Moore was a faboulous player
Damien Duff was the same in attack!
The priest had come back in to the room,
To see if I was ok
I said ‘you never cared about me down on earth
So #### off on your way’!
I wouldn’t normally speak like this
To a lovely man of the cloth
But I was off my nut and tripping
And the drugs were wearing off!
Anyway I came to later
It had all been a wonderful dream
I was dozy and my stomach hurt
But I’d never felt so serene!
I awoke again next morning
To the aroma of fresh tea and toast
‘Christy Moore plays a blinder between the sticks’
On the front page of the Irish Post!!!