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The King of the Gaffers

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Oh, I’m the King of the Gaffers,
A cocky Portugee.
My team’s on top, we ain’t gonna stop,
There’s nothing botherin’ me.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 And I’ve an XL ego,
I’m too big for my boots.
So if I’m not your glass of port,
I could not care two hoots.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, don’t wanna be like you, ooh, ooh.
Quite happy to be me,
‘Cos can’t you see that I’m unique?

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 The Blues have played like clockwork
Since I strolled into town.
Thanks to clean sheets and one-goal leads,
I earned my golden crown.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 I can’t help being a big ‘ead,
It’s in my DNA.
I’m just like Frank Sinatra,
‘Cos I do things My Way.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, don’t wanna be like you, ooh, ooh.
Much rather stay the same,
Still be José Mourin-ho-ho.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Now Fergie, Arsène, Rafa,
They’re not a patch on me.
‘Cos I’m the King of the Gaffers,
I’m Football Royalty.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The ‘Pool, United, Arsenal,
Should all throw in the towel.
‘Cos they won’t win the Title
As long as I’m around.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 So, ooh, ooh, ooh, don’t wanna be like you, ooh, ooh.
Why would I want to be?
I’m already me, and that will do. Ooh, ooh!

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 30/9/05
Denys E. W. Jones

1

Notes

This is a re-working of a song from the Walt Disney cartoon version of The Jungle Book entitled I want to be like you, sung by the King of the Apes.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-king-of-the-gaffers/