He doesn’t swear at the referee,
or question who’s his dad,
the nouveau fan has come along,
cos it is the latest fad.
He always followed rugger,
he played it while at school,
but when footer came home in 96,
he found it ‘ ooh so cool’.
Nouveau owns a season ticket,
their’s no problem with the dosh,
and his accent is a mixture,
of urbanite and posh.
His home’s a trendy town- house,
in an area once run down,
usually along the river,
Islington or Camden Town.
His home library is extensive,
in knowledge he is rich,
but the only football book you’ll find,
is Nick Hornsby’s ‘ Fever Pitch.’
Of 66, he thinks of Hastings,
or the year of his favourite wine,
but ‘ They think it is all over,’
is his all time favourite line.
Nouveau worships Tony Blair,
and Frank Skinner floats his boat,
and he compares Pele with Socrates,
cos of his ‘ BEAUTIFUL’ football quote.
The F.A Cup’s a no show,
or any game it’s wet,
and he won’t stop off on the way to the game,
to place a little bet.
No stopping in the local pub,
and with the die-hards have a brew,
no nouveau likes to be in his seat ,
by twenty five past two.
His stat knowledge is incredible,
he’ll tell you how long Saha had the ball,
but he’s never heard the Roker Roar,
or been to the Old Den at Millwall.
His feminine side comes shining through,
when the opponents score a goal,
and when the T.V camera zooms in,
it’s the cue for his tears to roll.
He shouts at Gallic players in French,
to impress those sitting near,
but when his team scores a goal,
he’ll hardly raise a cheer
He’ll stand up and politely clap,
then sit down like a lamb,
and leave with half an hour to go,
to beat the traffic jam.
Some readers you will think,
this is nouveau discrimination,
but he’s just a sad by-product,
of a Sky Sports World, generation.
It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t,
witnessed — the sloping pitch at Yeovil,
cos when the novelty wears off,
he’ll be watching cricket down the Oval.