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THE NOUVEAU FOOTBALL FAN.

John J O’Connor

Sunday, January 16th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 He doesn’t swear at the referee,
or question who’s his dad,
the nouveau fan has come along,
cos it is the latest fad.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 He always followed rugger,
he played it while at school,
but when footer came home in 96,
he found it ‘ ooh so cool’.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Nouveau owns a season ticket,
their’s no problem with the dosh,
and his accent is a mixture,
of urbanite and posh.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 His home’s a trendy town- house,
in an area once run down,
usually along the river,
Islington or Camden Town.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 His home library is extensive,
in knowledge he is rich,
but the only football book you’ll find,
is Nick Hornsby’s ‘ Fever Pitch.’

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Of 66, he thinks of Hastings,
or the year of his favourite wine,
but ‘ They think it is all over,’
is his all time favourite line.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Nouveau worships Tony Blair,
and Frank Skinner floats his boat,
and he compares Pele with Socrates,
cos of his ‘ BEAUTIFUL’ football quote.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The F.A Cup’s a no show,
or any game it’s wet,
and he won’t stop off on the way to the game,
to place a little bet.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 No stopping in the local pub,
and with the die-hards have a brew,
no nouveau likes to be in his seat ,
by twenty five past two.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 His stat knowledge is incredible,
he’ll tell you how long Saha had the ball,
but he’s never heard the Roker Roar,
or been to the Old Den at Millwall.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 His feminine side comes shining through,
when the opponents score a goal,
and when the T.V camera zooms in,
it’s the cue for his tears to roll.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 He shouts at Gallic players in French,
to impress those sitting near,
but when his team scores a goal,
he’ll hardly raise a cheer

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 He’ll stand up and politely clap,
then sit down like a lamb,
and leave with half an hour to go,
to beat the traffic jam.

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Some readers you will think,
this is nouveau discrimination,
but he’s just a sad by-product,
of a Sky Sports World, generation.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t,
witnessed — the sloping pitch at Yeovil,
cos when the novelty wears off,
he’ll be watching cricket down the Oval.

© John J O’Connor Jan 16 2005

Notes

JJO Jan 2005
Might come across as a bit of a rant, but I can assure some of our more sensitive readers that it was written with tongue firmly in cheek.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-nouveau-football-fan/?shared=email&msg=fail