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When the effing and blinding gets too much to bear
And the early departures are blocking the stairs
Spare a kind thought for twenty two blokes
Who’s lifestyle is tacky and graces Hello!
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When the interviews, post match, get you snoring
Same syllables, different accent, new face
Do you feel your idols, are incredibly boring
Unless performing on that lovely green space?
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It’s said that most footballers have brains in their feet
That life to them’s, nowt but a game
When you’re drinking warm Bovril in your cheap plastic sat
Think of Warhol, fifteen minutes and….fame!