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The Problem with Summer Football

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Shelbourne were playing up in Derry,
The big football match of the night,
A game that would surely be very
Competitive and very tight.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I didn’t think that I could make it
[I casually remarked to the barman]
In fact I would have to forsake it,
For I was in Puerto del Carmen.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I’d sunburn all over my belly,
Yet I had the incredible thought,
In the flat we had satellite telly,
Perhaps it was on Eurosport.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 My hopes, though, were cruelly thwarted,
They only showed synchronised yachting,
And a bloody great horse that cavorted
When it was supposed to be trotting.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 So I turned off the TV set – feck ‘em!
And tuned in the medium wave,
But the future of one David Beckham
Was all of the Sports News they gave.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 And therefore I tried to phone Gerry
To see could he tell me our fate,
But I’d forgotten that he was in Derry,
And wouldn’t be home until late.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 So I went to the Internet station,
Where I could go surfing the net,
But I couldn’t work out the translation,
And finished five euro in debt.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 There wasn’t another way round it –
I’d wait till the next day to find
The score in the Indo. Confound it!
The paper was one day behind.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 On Saturday morning I trotted
On down to the shop with a grin,
But my grin dropped away as I spotted
The Indos had not yet come in.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 All through the day I kept checking
To see if the Indos had come.
But after much shiting and fecking,
It just was a pain in the bum.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 And so for a week I was praying
That Shelbourne had somehow been jammy,
But back now from my holidaying,
I’m hit by a big double whammy.

16

Notes

We lost 2-0.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-problem-with-summer-football/