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The Tale of Count Dracula, the Footballer, in 11 Haiku

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Metempsychosis!
Strikers become predators
When the whistle blows.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Then incantations,
Crucifixes and garlic
Will avail you nought.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Pentangles and prayer
Are of no utility –
You need a goalie.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 And then you must hope
He won’t get it in the neck –
Pale custodian!

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The only player
To disregard the mirror –
Pale custodian!

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 He flies through the air,
But only under floodlights.
He sleeps afternoons!

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Every game is
A vam-pyrrhic victory –
Sail him to Whitby!

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 But non-league football
Was like a stake through his heart.
He retired early!

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 He opened a pub,
By name, “The Coach and Horses”;
No one went to it!

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 He went to night school
To gain qualifications –
A white collar job!

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 He is now allowed
To suck the blood from the game –
He’s an acCountant!

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-tale-of-count-dracula-the-footballer-in-11-haiku/