The very first match that in Ireland took place,
Happened way back in thirteen sixteen.
In the county Kildare in a town they call Naas,
‘Twixt the landlords and plebs on the green.
The landlords were rich and all English by birth,
Athletic and really well bred,
The peasants, however, ate handfuls of earth
And only twice weekly got fed.
To settle a quarrel, they worked out the rules,
To which both the parties agreed.
To kick a pig’s bladder between two small stools,
The winner would thus be decreed.
The landlords were fav’rites to wallop the proles,
And there was no upset in store.
They racked up a record of eighty six goals,
While the poor, starving peasants got four.
Nobody thought that the sport would improve,
And become so incredibly big,
Till somebody had the idea to remove
The bladder from out of the pig.