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The Very First Football Match

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The very first match that in Ireland took place,
Happened way back in thirteen sixteen.
In the county Kildare in a town they call Naas,
‘Twixt the landlords and plebs on the green.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The landlords were rich and all English by birth,
Athletic and really well bred,
The peasants, however, ate handfuls of earth
And only twice weekly got fed.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 To settle a quarrel, they worked out the rules,
To which both the parties agreed.
To kick a pig’s bladder between two small stools,
The winner would thus be decreed.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 The landlords were fav’rites to wallop the proles,
And there was no upset in store.
They racked up a record of eighty six goals,
While the poor, starving peasants got four.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Nobody thought that the sport would improve,
And become so incredibly big,
Till somebody had the idea to remove
The bladder from out of the pig.

4

Notes

Naas is pronounced to rhyme with face.

These events may or may not be true. My research has been minimal.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-very-first-football-match/