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There’s always somebody

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 There’s always somebody who’ll state
that small country refs are not great.
And that in this great World Cup of ours,
refs should come from footballing powers.
Small nation refs can be quite skittish –
they all should be German or British.
Yet a ref who’s a Lapp or Creole
could not do worse than Graham Poll.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 There’s always somebody who’ll state
that non-British goalies aren’t great.
They’ll have to work hard to be matching
the Great British goalie for catching.
There’s something not manly at all
about running and punching the ball.
And recently they have been blessed
with Carson, Rob Green and the rest.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 There’s always somebody who’ll state
that African backs are not great.
He will try hard to make you believe
they’re – cue the cliché – quite naïve.
No matter they all ply their trade
in London, Madrid and Belgrade,
it seems that they haven’t a clue
when there’s serious defending to do.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 There’s always somebody who’ll state
that the new FIFA ball isn’t great.
It swerves and it arcs and it dips.
It’s more like a beach ball, he quips.
They’ve ruined the beautiful game
and put the whole World Cup to shame.
But it won’t be mentioned again
once we’ve gone past day eight, nine or ten.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 There’s always somebody who’ll state
that Dutch team ethic isn’t great.
The incessant fighting and bickering
will see their World Cup dreams start flickering.
They’re always at each other’s throats
and that’s how Holland burns its boats.
(If only we’d bicker as much,
we might be as good as the Dutch.)

2

Notes

Based on an article in this weekend’s Irish Independent by Eamonn Sweeney.
With the World Cup comes Hoary Old Chestnut Man…

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/theres-always-somebody/