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To pull a bird (Rondeau a la Jerk)

Peter Goulding

Friday, February 22nd, 2013

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 To pull a bird (and find your lifelong mate)
invite her to a match on your first date.
To win a Soo to complement your Sooty,
simply introduce her to the footie,
and watch her little eyes illuminate.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 But still pile on the charm and lay your bait –
of course, the offside rule will fascinate
but also make your chanting loud and smutty
to pull your bird.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 And if the match alone won’t satiate
her quest for pleasure primal and innate,
then splash the cash and treat her to a buttie
or peanut-butter sandwich (extra nutty.)
If that don’t work then, bud, it ain’t your fate
to pull that bird.

© Peter Goulding 22nd February 2013

Notes

Unsuccessful entry to a recent poetry competition with the theme of “advice on how to woo a person of the opposite sex.”
It’s sad but I should point out that it’s supposed to be tongue in cheek.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/to-pull-a-bird-rondeau-a-la-jerk/?shared=email&msg=fail