Switching on the goldfish bowl
With an optimistic view
I came face to face with Gabriel
Our ultimate ghoul in journalistic gloom?
Had he attended someone’s funeral
I must have missed that hope had died?
He looked gaunt stood in a mourning suit
Pallid face and bloodshot eyes.
Almost crying as he gave his slant
From the England squad’s hotel
I almost rang the number in dire want
Of The Samaritans and their help.
When he concluded his morbid comments
The mood in our house quickly changed
To one of sunshine for a moment
That is until he handed us back to Adrian.
Whose cynical irony is wasted
It’s not that funny any more
Coz as the bitter pill’s digested
An idiot’s sarcasm pains us more.
The negative vibe within the studio
All except that is for Gus Poyet
Seemed to me as if they felt sure we’d lose
An a bleeding hour before Judgement Day.
Anyway they got their wish
As Rooney to his credit scored a goal
But it’s this continued focus on the negatives
That really gets my goat.
With one game to go, and an (albeit) outside hope
Of making progress at The Show
That Brummie bloke needs a massive dose
Of positivity injected in to his tired jokes.
Suggesting Roy Hodgson might jack it in
Or to re-instate John Terry and Ashley Cole
What about Barkley, Sturridge, Baines and Sterling
All with wonderful futures, beginning to unfold.
That big eared bloke is just as bad
Chuck Alan Shearer in as well
They need to lighten up and get behind the lads
Wish this new batch of talented youngsters well.
How I wish that Gus was English
Clarence Seedorf too
Having pundits that distinguished
Would give us least a democratic point of view.
On securing his appointment
Hodgson’s goal was strictly the long term
With new faces coming to this tournament
Being invited to join him on his journey.
His World Cup blooding of the latest crop
Is a game not gambled on before
With suggestions that he gets the chop
Are but shallow words of the uninformed.
So while that defeat could end this story
We’ve still another game to go
This in England, the land of hope and glory
In case you English hacks and pundits didn’t know?