Football Poets

Waltzing MacTilda

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Captain Cook advised First Mate,
“Not too long t’ wait,
’cause t’morrow we sail on th’ mornin’ tide..
Ahoy! here’s Midshipman McFrugal
carryin’ a brass bugle
an’ wearin’ naval uniform with pride…”

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 When McFrugal went aboard
with gold braid and silver sword,
officers and men were most impressed..
watched him go below,
but what they did not know,
was that he had ‘Raith Rovers’ tattooed on his chest!!!

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Vessel cast off from the quay
and for months was all at sea,
buffeted by ocean waves and gales,
’til a navigation blunder
ran the ship aground down under
beside a headland, so the crew hauled in the sails…

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Courageous Captain said,
as maps and charts he read,
“McFrugal, you are ordered to proclaim
with bugle and Olde England’s banner,
in your most formal manner,
th’ new discovered territory’s name…”

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 So McFrugal rowed a boat ashore,
about half a mile or more,
St.Andrew’s flag concealed in his waistband,
gave the bugle a loud toot,
threw Scotland’s colours a salute
and called the continent ‘Raithroversland’…

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Just then another boat
up to the beach did float,
containing ten men in a landing party,
said McFrugal, “Tell y’ what,
shou’d build a city ‘pon this spot
an’ bestow on it th’ name o’ ‘New Kirkca’dy’…”

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 They took a football out,
had a kick about,
with jolly joke, loud laugh and merry quip,
went splashing in the surf
amid uproarous mirth,
’til it was time to return to the ship…

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 But wading through the shallows
were some Aboriginal fellows,
so Sydney ‘Deafy’ Smith, drawing near
asked, “Where d’ you reside?”
and one of them replied
in Antipodean accent, “I stay ‘ere…”

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 When the two boats were rowed back,
‘Deafy’ Smith was first on deck
and he answered Captain Cook’s enquiry..
“Sir, I’m a hard o’ hearin’ sailor,
but think a local lad said ‘Australia’..”
so the Captain wrote the name down in his diary…

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 ‘Australia’ was begotten,
‘Raithroversland’ forgotten,
all ’cause Sydney ‘Deafy’ Smith was tardy..
and know what they also did?
named the city after Syd!
never gave a thought to ‘New Kirkcaldy’…

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 So remember, when watching sporting matches,
especially The Ashes,
with the teams’ supporters in their hordes,
green and gold, red, white and blue,
lion confronting kangaroo,
could have been England versus Raithroversland at Lords…

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