Football Poets

Watford v Boro (04-11-2006)

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 In the Premiership we’d never lost to Manchester City,
Had that still been the case we would now be sitting pretty,
So we must really get a good grip of our season,
Or the fans will revolt and they’ll want to know T’reason.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 It’s November the 4th, almost time for Guy Fawkes,
And already, above, one can see circling hawks,
In the shape of the fans, who’ll be all going Crackers,
If they don’t see some goals from much vaunted attackers.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Tomorrow, a man in disguise and with mighty big pockets,
Might visit Vicarage Road, armed with Bangers and Rockets,
If we don’t see some passion, real hunger and guile,
All we want is our Guys at the Top of the Pile.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 We’re at Watford today and they’ve not won a match,
What a time to begin an overdue purple patch,
But would you be surprised if they ruined the Plot,
And thereby caused the Boro to lose two on the trot?

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 With the Guys all in place and prepared for the fight,
The Blue Paper’s lit to set this House alight,
So please Stand Well Back as I hope Boro’s plans are,
For an Explosive start and an Extravaganza.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Three most valuable points Boro can’t guarantee,
But we need to get over Monday night’s misery,
When a great opportunity was so sadly missed,
And drove fervent fans almost right round the twist.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Viduka’s still missing, having fractured two toes,
Lucky break for Maccarone? One just never knows,
In this massive six-pointer we must make amends,
But it won’t be that easy, and no-one pretends.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Right from the start, the Hornets started to buzz,
I was very soon ‘praying,’ as one frequently does,
But all was in vain: prayers were totally ignored,
And, inside five short minutes, the Hornets had scored.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 It looked so routine from a low-drilled daisy cutter,
But Schwarzer was stunned and the fans could just mutter,
It was not a great strike, but in the right direction,
And it squirmed into the net after Woodgate’s cruel deflection.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 This left Watford clearly boosted and our boss most concerned,
He was exasperated as our chances were spurned.
With Watford camped in Boro’s half and looking so at ease,
Boro toiled and struggled: the hosts could torment us and tease.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Macca kicked one off the line: we must be really wary,
Watford seek to score a second and it’s looking rather scary,
Young was through on goal when, suddenly, he slipped,
Good fortune for the Boro but this game’s not going as per script.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Great pace from Bouazza left George Boateng for dead,
Then he was desperately unlucky not to put the game to bed,
The fans are seeing teams with totally contrasting styles,
The Hornets’ play’s effective and has fans’ faces wreathed in smiles.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 As we now thankfully enter the first half’s final minute,
It has to be admitted that we’ve simply not been in it,
The half has seen the Boro well under the cosh throughout,
Let’s hope a Roasting from the boss will bring an instant turnabout.
———-
The first half, as you’ll gather, was totally bereft,
But now we see Stew Downing operating on the left,
James Morrison’s on for Arca and he’s working on the right,
So let’s hope now that the Boro can recover from their plight.

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Downing, on his natural left, immediately took the reins,
Can he pull it from the Fire in the time that still remains?
That was very nearly answered and I had a little titter,
When Young, inside the six-yard box, amazingly missed a sitter.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 That was certainly a Let-off that most would find astounding,
And one could almost hear the sound of every Boro heart pounding,
But our luck was not to hold and the ground was soon Aglow,
Courtesy of a howler in the ‘Boateng Horror Show.’

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 Totally inexplicably Boateng headed back to Schwarz,
But he got it totally wrong and left us feeling out of sorts,
Young thought Christmas had come early and was certainly unexpected,
But the gift was quickly taken and most gratefully accepted.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 Now the mountain we’ve to climb is looking ever-steeper,
And the Boro lads will know that they must dig even deeper,
Then as Huth stopped a tap-in we could only hope and pray,
We are very much second best and in total disarray.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 We got just one shot on target and were frequently caught napping,
Then, when Cattermole blazed over, we could hear the rhythmic clapping,
For their victory was well earned, so let us not split hairs,
The home fans knew full well that the three points were now theirs.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 As the players left the field with their heads, quite rightly, bowed,
There’s now one huge statistic, of which we can’t be proud,
One thing is for certain: it’s a dangerous road we’re treading,
We have lost to Sheffield’s Blades: now to Watford and to Reading.

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 That’s a hat-trick of defeats by those teams newly-promoted,
And it’s really hard to swallow by the fans, so devoted!
We were finally fatally stung by the Watford Hornets’ tail,
And the rumblings in the Boro showed up on the Richter Scale.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 We are looking at a crisis and Southgate must now be ruthless,
For displays in recent times have, in the main, been toothless,
That is said in total honesty and it’s certainly not a fib,
We saw no Sparkling Show from Boro: just the biggest, Dampest Squib.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 George Kirby

¶ 23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 (04-11-2006)