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David, your goals usually make the opposition feel unwell
But we know it was you, easily recognisable under all that gel
A trademark dipping free kick, a goal of wonder
But some celebration – a non-discreet chunder
Fortunately not blighted, by any individual blunder
But we certainly couldn’t say we tore them asunder
And I have to ask, did it contain the inevitable diced carrot?
But fortunately, it was only Ecuador, ended up sick as a parrot!
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But how come they can’t simulate
Or van Basten?
The nearest they get
Is the (almost) rhyming red card!
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You know what, if you
Mix red and yellow
You get orange –
Maybe that was the refs intention –
He might have been wanting to conjure up the ghosts of yesteryear
The heyday of the oranjeboom
Of Cruyff, Krol, Haan and Neejskens
Or Gullit, Rijkaard and van Basten
And not the pasty, tepid
Robben, Kuyt and Cocu –
And after seeing the latters miss late in the game
I’m convinced he must have a ‘p’ missing from his name!