We own the diving
¶ 1
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Fleet-footed forwards,
and wingers of pace,
please remain upright
not flat on your face.
¶ 2
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Unless you are injured,
do not hit the floor.
Your diving is rubbish,
I will see no more.
¶ 3
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If it’s penalties you’re after,
just play for a draw,
because theatrical nonsense,
is the game’s biggest flaw.
¶ 4
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Not once in all the seasons,
while I’ve been alive.
Have I seen a game,
where only the keepers dive.
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