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Chilled out from the break?
Viewed all the cricket one can take?
Watched Wimbledon? Which is nothing but a racquet?
Then opening day St James Park
We watched a Gooner draw a card
For lumping Joey Barton up the bracket.
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Our grounds been spruced up so were told
Them luke warm pies are three months old
Jobs-worth on the gate is somewhat curt
New geezer picking our first team
Ain’t spent a dime in this close season
Whilst we’re marketing a shirt, new seasons third.
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On pristine fields of gorgeous green
We’ll pin our hopes that chosen team
Will raise our rested voices way up high
Three weeks from now, we’ll change our tune
Be stood there howling at the moon:
“What a waste of money, my oh my”.
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Fans sporting orange summer tans
Will sing out loud and clap their hands
In shows of real allegiance to the shirt
The bars and beaches long forgot
We’ll watch in awe as this year’s crop
Thrive or end up face down in the dirt.
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John Motson’s voice is on the wane
Jock on The Box in search for fame
Will lump on Man United for the title
While Shearer sporting that fake tan
Will try to make out he’s a fan
Whilst boring us to death like Peter Schmeichel.
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We’ve Michael Jackson near The Thames
You know just where the river bends
A showroom dummy badly dressed it seems
I’ve heard that Martin Jol
Once during teams talks so we’re told
Was keen to raise the statue (sic) to the team.
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How come the bust of Jimmy Hill
Ain’t next to Jacko by the field?
Where Jimmy fought for an hundred pound a week
For Johnny Haynes a peoples man
Both idolised by Fulham fans
And those who slapped the Brylcreem on real thick.
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We’ve Twitters; Joey, Wayne and Rio
Conducting forums like they know
How we fans are feeling and our pain
A load of tosh this to be sure
The three of them are stuck indoors
It’s either that or in some cell and miss next game.
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You’ve seen the riots on the box
Seen people hurt and seen hope lost
As livelyhoods and business’s were ruined
I’ve heard these idols call for calm
Show false concern, feign mock alarm
From their mansions, built by different kinds of loot.
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Yuri Gagarins had a bust
At last awarded by the Russians
In honour of his expliots out in space
How come the doyen Lev Yashin
Don’t get a statue raised to him?
For keeping goal and years of World Cup games.
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I’ve digressed, so welcome back
Lets hope we’ll see as season’s pact
A term of entertainment and fine sport
So get your vocal chords in tune
Prepare to win a few or lose
Then draw conclusion footballs nowt without supporters!