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What I’d Do 500 Times

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 When I wake up, well, I‘ll have a cup of tea
and after that I think I’ll have an Irn Bru.
When I go out, yeah, I’m gonna head for Leith,
I’m gonna head out on the number 22.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 When I get drunk I’ll have all my mates with me
because I always get drunk when I’m with the crew.
I would haver but I don’t know what that means
so I guess that being daft will have to do.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I will drink five hundred beers
and I will drink five hundred more
Just to be the man who drinks a thousand beers
before our strikers score.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Our centre forward, well, he’s gonna pick his spot,
he’s gonna pick his spot and then he’ll pick his nose.
He reads the game well, but he’s never read a book
and his Twitter rantings leave me comatose.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 When we’re at home (when we’re at home),
oh, I know we’re gonna be
we’re gonna be behind by three goals at the break.
After half time, well, I know we’re gonna see
we’re gonna see how many fans can stay awake.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 I will cry five hundred tears
and I will cry five hundred more
Just to be the man who cries a thousand tears
and then cries out No more!

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 See our goalie – well, I know he’s gonna be
he’s gonna be the one who hasn’t got a clue.
And our forwards, well, I know they’re gonna be
they’re gonna be as useful as a rice canoe.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 And I will wait five hundred years
and I will wait five hundred more
Just to be the man who waits a thousand years
to win the cup once more.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 When we get thumped (when we get thumped),
well, I know it’s gonna be
against some numpty outfit from division two.
And when I go home (when I go home),
yes, I know I’m gonna be
the man who’s grateful that the final whistle blew.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 But I will give five hundred cheers
and I will give five hundred more
Just to be the idiot who cheers
when we get beat 10-4.

4

Notes

With apologies to The Proclaimers, whose ‘500 Miles’ is the Hibs theme song. Further apologies to Hibs fans – no offence meant, it’s just for a bit of fun.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/what-id-do-500-times/