Who Wants To Be A Goalkeeper

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One save wonders
The fat one who can’t run
Or the seven stone weakling who plays for fun
Recklessly flings himself in the mud
Against the goalpost, head gushes blood
Penalty shootout, the ball’s in the net
Loses every time on an each way bet
Backpasses bypass on a regular basis
Number one shirts worn by very red faces
Luminous jerseys with flashes and flecks
Regular showings on ‘What Happened Next?’
Goes up for the ball, what a surprise
Forgotten his cap, the sun’s in his eyes
His attempt to get a drinks bottle flopped
His teammate threw one which, you guessed it, was dropped
Love them or hate them, who’d be a goalie
Prayers sincere but the defence, it is holey


Goalkeepers make or break a team. They also give the crowd good value for money, taking enough stick from away support to open a glue factory. This is dedicated to all the ‘keepers sitting on benches week in, week out, waiting for their chance.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/who-wants-to-be-a-goalkeeper/