I know it must be winter
For the fixtures are piling high
Even though we’re lucky
And the weather’s kinda dry
I know I must be old now
For I rarely get to the games
And I’m also having trouble
Remembering double-barrel names!
I know I must be tired (so, so tired)
For I fall asleep in front of the tv
Doesn’t matter about all the hype
Nor the sheer import of “must see”
At least I know I’m not dying
Although I would terminate VAR
Eradicate, expel, abolish
No more goals to disbar!