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Woe West Ham never on Boxing Day

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Oh woe West Ham
Never on Boxing Day
Always seemingly the
Worse for wear
Under the influence
Of the demon drink
Far too many brandies
Or whiskies, temptations
Of turkeys, again
But surely not
And yet
Beaten by the Saints
Just angelic, maybe
A paragon of virtue
Playing the harps
Of harmony
Far too many
Strings to their bow
Against the sloppy,
Slovenly negligence
Of the Hammers
For Southampton
Today read
Boxing Day 1963
When punch drunk
Claret and blue
Consumed far too
Much claret for
Their good,
Barmy incompetence
Lost 8-2 against
Blackburn Rovers
Many decades before
Since the crown of
The Premier League
Was theirs
Under Kenny Dalglish
Back then
Bryan Douglas
Andy McEvoy
And Fred Pickering
Plundered, looted
And pillaged all before
At the muddy birthday
Cake of Upton Park
Eight, yes eight
On the day 66 others
Billowed windswept
Nets in the old First
Division,
But now West Ham
Hit a Boxing Day
Brick wall
Against Southampton
In a sense we should
Have known somehow
A horrible foreboding
The Irons should have
Been prepared
Rather like vigilant
Scouts, looking
Over their shoulder
As opposed to blinking
For just 90 minutes
Or simply not reading
The writing on the wall
West Ham don’t do
Christmas, a team
With a deep seated
Aversion to Boxing
Day
For as long as we
Can remember, a
Loathing for end
Of end of year
Festivities,
Forget it
Never even
Remotely interested
Now sixth and stuck
In that predictable rut
A predicament
That may feel like
A kick in the ribs
That temporary
Standstill we hope
But 2022 beckons
And those who keep
The faith now long
For a winter of
Content, no more
References to
Boxing Day 1963,
Simply a modest
Recovery
Simply mid
Table stability
Anything that
Resembles the
West Ham of
Victories over
Chelsea and Liverpool
And early season
Fruit picking and
Glorious harvests
When August seemed
To last until late
Autumn and then
The threshold of winter
But now tiring legs
Seek renewed vigour
Petrol in the proverbial
Tank
Another lease of life
Oh woe West Ham
Please remember your
August, September script
It was easily legible
A pleasure to watch
Replace the light bulb
Power on
Come on West Ham
A renaissance for us
All.

19

Notes

West Ham lose to Southampton at the London Stadium.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/woe-west-ham-never-on-boxing-day/