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Ode To All Would Be Footballers Wives ( Re-Visited)

Crispin Thomas

9th January 2002

so what’s so wrong about wanting yeah
to marry a big soccer star
and what’s so wrong about shed-loads of money
and shed- loads of clothes and a car
cause you know what you get when you’re sorted
with you nice little footballer man
you get fat weekly wages for starters
that bring in at least forty grand

and the chance to live somewhere in essex
in a typically mock tudor home
with totally footballer furniture
just a nice massive place of your own
yeah cos i need a guy with the minimum taste
and footballers sure fit the picture
and maybe they’re not all that clever upstairs
but i tell ya they don’t come much richer

yeah and i need a guy who goes fishing
or maybe plays golf at the worst
one who dishes out diamonds and oners
whenever he open his purse
one who opens up big supermarkets
and leaves me alone on weekends
so i can go clubbing while he is away
with one of his nice pop star friends

yeah and i’d like to get off with giggsy
or that david beckham he’d do
maybe drive in a roller with david ginola
or lovely les ferdinand too
but i’d draw the line if they’re married
i don’t want no grief in my life
i wanna go far in the sun or the star
but not being chased by some wife

and i’d never shack up with gazza
or jason shampoo macateer
no i wanna live with a nice soccer star
and i reckon that i’m getting there
but theres only one problem that bugs me
and i feel i’m a bit of a joke
its like i’m heading this ball up against some brick wall
because i’m not a girl im a bloke

© Crispin Thomas 2002

Foot(ball) Note
The new series “Footballers Wives”,shown this week on terrestrial tv,prompted the topical re-appearance of this poem.First written after a documentatry on the same subject some time back..it also appears in the Channel 4 publication “Writing For Kicks” Resource Book .This publication accompanied a series of television programmes
on Channel 4,of the same name,shown on October 2001, which we were delighted to be a part of.More elsewehere on this site somewhere soon as our workshop side expands (hopefully?).The book is aimed primarily at 11-14 year olds and has great in-put from Jim Sweetman,Ian McMillan and more.For more info go to
www.4learning.co.uk/secondary

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Source: https://footballpoets.org/news/2002/01/09/ode-to-all-would-be-footballers-wives-re-visited/