FA Cup minnows
They all start off dreaming
Then comes the collective screaming :
Teams, from every corner of the land
Try their very best, whether praised or panned;
And for all these clubs, their FA Cup dreams
Start from unlikely places, wherever the draw deems
And there were certainly some very unusual names
That we could pick out, from this weeks games ;
The oddest one to catch the eye, had to be Odd Down
And then, as well as Rovers, Uniteds and many a Town
We can add, though we know not the nomenclature, more’s the pity
Suffice to say, at suffix city :
Collieries
Celtic
Bridge
Cables
Old Boys
Synthonia
Vics / Victoria
Ramblers
Hamlet
Invicta
Main
Winning
Heath
Sports
Casuals
Blue Cross
Brewery
Red Star
Dynamo
Dominoes
Terriers
Gate
Swifts
Olympic
Amateurs
I didn’t see any result, that mentioned Devizes
But there were some household names, in unfamiliar guises :
Ipswich Wanderers
Swindon Supermarine
Blackpool Mechanics
Bristol MF
Lincoln United
Lincoln Moorlands
Oldham Town
Newcastle Blue Star
Newcastle Town
Norwich United
Oxford City
Bury Town
So many of these monikers, such a delight to find
And with these strange names, some strange thoughts spring to mind :
Could Wembley, ever make it to the Millenium Stadium?
Could a player from Quorn, ever be involved in a meaty tackle?
Are Chasetown, good at chasing a game?
Are Esh, always Winning? I guess the fans are always singing?
When games are tight, do Bacup Boro, have a backup plan?
Will Concord’s season, take off at the speed of sound?
For Hamlet, will it be a case of … alas poor Dulwich, we knew them well? **
When Trafford grow old, do they morph into Utd?
Can Moneyfields, not buy their way to successki?
Are Dunston Federation Brewery, good at organising post-match piss-ups?
Can Rugby Utd, cope with the round ball?
If Seaham and Shepshed joined forces, we’d have Red Star Dynamo!
When Stone stumble, do they collapse like a pack of dominoes?
Do they have landed gentry, operating the turnstiles, at Squires Gate?
Does Thatcham Town, have anybody called Robinson playing for them? *
Who are the more casual in defence, Walton or Corinthians?
Do the Met Police, ever give an arresting performance?
So much fun, to be had with the names
Let’s sincerely hope, theres even more joy
For all those diehards, attending the games
Taken from the FA Cup Qualifying Results, listed in the Sunday papers, 31st August 2003.
Club suffixes, a favourite old topic of mine!
The following is a list of team names in full, of those clubs mentioned above
Atherton Collieries
Farsley Celtic
Bamber Bridge
Prescot Cables
Beaconsfield SYCOB
Billingham Synthonia
Borrowash Vics
Biddulph Victoria
Burnham Ramblers
Holker Old Boys
Folkestone Invicta
Rossington Main
Maltby Main
Esh Winning
Flackwell Heath
Concord Rangers
Dulwich Hamlet
Cowes Sports
Mickleover Sports
Woodley Sports
Corinthian Casuals
Walton Casuals
Trafford
Rugby United
Moneyfields
Leek CSOB
Wootton Blue Cross
Dunston Federation Brewery
Pontefract Collieries
Seaham Red Star
Shepshed Dynamo
Stone Dominoes
Bedlington Terriers
Squires Gate
Stourbridge Swifts
Rushall Olympic
Thatcham Town *
* (for all those of a certain Scorcher & Score generation! or was it Tiger, or was it both – the passing years deceive me!)
* (also, was it Thatcham or Thatchem, Utd or Town?)
Yorksire Amateurs
Some other ‘unusual’ names that caught my eye :
Deeping Rangers
Glapwell
Liversedge
Long Buckby
Marske United
Alsager
Raunds Town
Jarrow Roofing Boldon CA
Stocksbridge PS
Boldmere St Michaels
Thornaby
Yaxley
To the inhabitants of these towns / villages, please excuse my ignorance
** Yes, I know it’s a misquote! But I quite doubt that Dulwich Hamlet would have someone called Horatio playing for them!
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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Denys E. W. Jones
2nd October 2024
joe morris
2nd October 2024
Mike Bartram
30th September 2024
joe morris
26th September 2024
joe morris
19th September 2024
Clik The Mouse
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Clik The Mouse
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12th September 2024
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Latest Comments
13th September 2024 at 6:14 pm
Welcome to Football Poets Beth
Great evocative poem Beth….
More please !
Haiku always welcome.
Hope we (FGR) get to play you again soon
Best
Crispin
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26th July 2024 at 6:25 pm
Great poem Mike Bartram. Eddie was a legend, affectionately known in Liverpool as, “the first hooligan.” Even the hoolies were well dressed in those days. The amazing thing was he was only 26 when that picture was taken. He’d played for Everton youth team and was well known to the players. He never got arrested. They threw him out and he climbed back in, just in time for Derek Temples winner.
I used the picture of him being tackled to the ground on the front cover of my book, “Once Upon a rhyme in Football.” It’s worth looking on youtube and finding the re-enactment of the Wembley scene. Frank Skinner and Baddiel went around to Eddies home in the 1990’s and acted it out on the green outside. It’s hilarious, especially all the effort they put in to get Eddie sober enough to shoot the scene.
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10th July 2024 at 6:07 pm
Hi Crispin,
I don’t know if you’ve see the picture in social media today…
a picture of a teenage Lionel Messi cradling a baby in Africa as part of a photoshoot…. the family had won a lottery to have their baby pictured with him….
the photographer has just revealed that the baby is actually in fact Lamine Yamal!!!!
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26th May 2024 at 2:30 pm
Hi Denys…
Re Man City:
OK it was 20 years ago but Criag Wilson did write this and a few others on them back in 04/05.
BTW I’m more Forest Green Rover since 2014 (and Chelsea) these days . I drum and am a standing season ticket holder .
Best
Crispin
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29th April 2024 at 2:47 pm
Hi Denys,
Yes Richard Williams you’re a brilliant wordsmith, my friend. When I first saw your football poetry I thought it was the superb Guardian sports and music writer. I once had the honour of sitting next to Richard Williams while at the Independent on the sports desk. He writes about music and sport with immense knowledge and authority. I’ve read a couple of Richard’s books recently. Great writer rather like you Richard Williams the Pompey fan. Congratulations on promotion.
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28th April 2024 at 5:59 pm
Thanks Denys. Yes your replay poem was superb.
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26th April 2024 at 4:46 pm
Nice work, Joe. You were quick off the mark with that! Good one from Richard Williams too I see.
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25th April 2024 at 7:33 pm
Hi Denys,
Thanks mate. I’ll do it now.
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25th April 2024 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Joe,
you might like to write a poem yourself on the same subject…
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23rd April 2024 at 4:03 pm
Hi Denys
With you all the way on the abolition of FA Cup replays. What are they doing to the game?
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