Team Effort : The Big Read : fun with puns
The Big Read : fun with puns
Footballers poll.
Reading. Books. Titles.
Shortlisted :
~ i ~
Jane Ayr
Gone With The Wyn Davies
Watch 22
Sons and Rovers
The Chelseakers
Art o’missed Foul
Hornblower and the Tottenham Hotspur
Sun Jihai Also Rises
Steve Death in the Afternoon
Rosenthal and Joey Jones (stern) are Red
Beats, Shoots and Leeds
The Prisoner of Zenden
Sodom and Zamora
Dithering Whites
Robbed Roy
Test of the D’erby games
The story of tracing Tim Breaker
Goodnight Mister Thome
A Suitable Bhoy
Shinguards! Shinguards!
~ ii ~
This Sporting Poet Life
~ iii ~
All Quiet on the Ujpesten Front
Gray Miserables
Beowolves
To Thrill a Dorking Bird
The Joy of Becks
Mr. Midfieldman Hornblower
Paradise Lost [2-0]
Gerry Peyton Place
Sven and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Svens and Svensibility
Under Ron Greenwood Tree
Long Day’s Juve Inter Night
~ iv ~
Michael Robinson Crusoe
Darren Huckerby Finn
The Millwall On The Floss
Silas Paul Mariner
De Profundis, The Ballad Of Reading Fc
A Christmas Roy Carroll
The Portrait Of Eddie Gray
Under Milk Cup Wood
The Rhyme Of The Ancient Paul Mariner
Legless ‘n Gazza
A Stamford Bridge Too Far
The Illustrated Fan
Andy King Lear
The Adventures of Rio Ferdinand Count Fathom
The Life and Adventures of Sir Launcelot Jimmy Greaves
A Wingers Tale
~ v ~
Across the Pitch and Into the Goal
To Score and Score Not
Three Red Cards and Ten Yellows
For Whom The Ball Rolls
~ vi ~
Parkhead Revisited
Nicky Chatterton’s Lover
The Mart PoomsDay Book
Lady Julian Gray
A Joe Royal Duty
The Alan Rough Guide to Britain
The Old-Ham and the Sea
To Kill a Henning Berg
Murder on the Leyton Orient Express
~ vii ~
The Catcher in the Ryman
Hamann For All Seasons
The Goalie Bible
The Wind in the Minnows
Pride Park and Prejudice
The Hitchiker’s Guide to Galatasaray
Vinnie the Pooh
Great Expectorations
War and Pearce
Gone With the Transfer Window
A Prayer for Owen Hargreaves
Joey Jones’s Diary
Molby Dick
Tord of the Rings
The Hodfather
Captain Corelli Heads It In
3 Lions, the Pitch and the Scored Goal
The Grapes of Raith
Ranger in a Strange Land
Ranger in Paradise
The Snows of Klinsmann’s Giro
Remembrance of Things Passed
Finnan’s Wake
Huckleberry Finnan
Heart of Harkness
Houllier’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
To Kick a Mockingbird
The Ruud Less Travelled
Palace’s Adventures in Blunderland
Dion Dubliners
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Fan
Uselessyes
Mein Bergkampf
One Flew Over The Cuckoos Net
Bonhof of the Vanities
Match 22
A Brief History of Half Time
Port Vale’s Complaint
A Confederacy of Inces
Anel Karenina
If On A Winger’s Night, A Traveller
20,000 Leagues Under Chelsea
The Taking of Beckham 1-2-3
Under Milk Cup
A Mols House
A Lyon in Winter
One Hundred Years of Sols attitude
The World According to Garth
The Hartson is a Lonely Hunter
The Klinsmann Always Dives Twice
Note :
Some gems there I’m sure you’ll agree!
Obviously, based on the hot topic of autumn / winter 2003, the BBC Big Read project, with our own punderful slant.
We will consider this a work in progress, if anybody would like to contribute any other suggestions, please send to (in the absence of the guestbook) :
bigcheese@clikthemouse.com
The contributors so far :
~ i ~ Clik the mouse
~ ii ~ anon
~ iii ~ Peter Goulding
~ iv ~ Sharon Marshall
~ v ~ Michael ‘Sooner Gooner’ Adubato,
in praise of his favourite author, Ernest ‘Papa’ Hemingway
~ vi ~ John J O’Connor
~ vii ~ Eddie Gibbons
And my personal favourite? Eddie’s
Great Expectorations.
Very clever, and I’m ashamed to say it took me a while to work it out!
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
My Account
Latest Poems
Gacina Bozidar
3rd February 2023
Gacina Bozidar
3rd February 2023
joe morris
3rd February 2023
Stuart Butler
2nd February 2023
Denys E. W. Jones
30th January 2023
joe morris
29th January 2023
Crispin Thomas
25th January 2023
joe morris
23rd January 2023
Denys E. W. Jones
23rd January 2023
joe morris
14th January 2023
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
5th December 2022 at 8:11 pm
Stuart, you are not alone, in your dichotomy of doubt
but without dissention
you stand alone
in hogging our attention!
See in context
16th November 2022 at 11:04 am
[Football on soiled turf]
This is a wonderful phrase which I shall be using from now on!
See in context
15th November 2022 at 3:54 pm
Well said Crispin. One of the reasons for The Ball 2022/23 is exactly this – that FIFA need to know. The Ball is essentially a petition to FIFA to honour their commitments to the UN Sports for Climate Action Framework. They signed up; they should act. The Qatar tournament takes the World Cup in the opposite direction to that commitment. And 2026 looks like it’ll be even worse.
See in context
8th November 2022 at 2:06 pm
Hi Guys
Re ‘Lets Boycott Qatar ‘ poem
You probably hate me banging on..and problably know (like me) that my/your not watching the World Cup in Qatar will make no difference.
Of course it won’t. That’s not the point.
OK someone might possibly eventually publish a minimal drop in terrestrial TV viewer numbers, but I fear that is unlikely.
But please above all, do go on writing poems about the World Cup, as/you we have always done. I hate to think a poem or two of mine might l make you feel bad about comenting on a game or country …or that I’ve put you all off about wanting to contribute.
So we’d love to hear from you and read your thoughts and observations, as ever on what’s going on.
Some of us have been here since Football Poets website birth/inception for the Euros 2000 ….
All my best wishes
Crispin
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18th October 2022 at 10:06 am
Shoot! (Something we’ve also been screaming in vain at our team all season !)
Great memories Joe . Before Shoot, it was Roy of the Rovers comic too, dropping through my letterbox.
Anxiously waiting each week to see if they survived in the mexcian jungle after an ambush..or a pre-season earthquake!
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3rd October 2022 at 8:32 pm
Thanks for the kind words Sharon. Yes, it was a shame with Billy Shako, but with five subs now being allowed, he might yet make it off the bench. Even if it’s just a cameo to close out a poem.
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2nd October 2022 at 1:49 pm
John, your new book is an absolute delight and more please. It’s a shame ‘Swapping Shirts With Shakespeare’ never made it off the bench, but quality football poets light up the writing fields like Roman candles. Go well.
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4th September 2022 at 12:42 pm
Great memories Greg. Took me right back.
Today I stand on a small terrace in the hills where I live watching Forest Green Rovers in L1, and keep up with Chelsea on highlights. It’s a far cry and a world away from those times when I lived as a child within walking distance of ‘The Bridge’ – just off the Ifield Road, which led to Fulham Road. The Blues were rubbish for so long, but we loved them and somehow we stayed in the old First Division for so many seasons. And of course we got to see Greavesie at his impudent best, scoring goals for fun. Mad unpredictable games where we’d score 4 and let in five.
The looming floodlights in the dark and mist on magic night games. The big games when the ground heaved.
I don’t think we ever realized how magical and incredible it was back then. The atmosphere and arriving there so early – like you said.. just to make sure you got in. Back when Bovril, tea and cake and roasted peanuts for sixpence a back were just about all on offer.
Good times.
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4th September 2022 at 12:37 pm
see above
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18th August 2022 at 10:20 am
To put it politely!
See in context