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Dear God, Please Let England Beat Brazil

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Dear God,
I promise to believe in your existence
And I promise to clean my shoes, wash my neck
And change my underpants daily.
I will assiduously attend to all matters of personal hygiene
And discreetly advise others if they fall from our high standards;
I will know when I should give up my seat on the ‘bus,
I will also know which women would like me to open the door for them.
I promise to save my money and not spend it on beer,
And I will correctly divine which beggars are deserving;
Fried food is out apart from fish on Fridays,
But chocolate and fags won’t get a look in.
I promise not to put a pound on Senegal at a 100-1,
Nor on South Korea at an attractive 150-1,
Instead, I will dig old ladies’ gardens and help them cross the road;
I will greet everyone with a sincere and effusive “Good Morning!”,
But I will not appear to be American;
I will be really positive at work, and at home, and in the family,
And I will set myself relentless personal targets for improvement;
I will clean and scrub and dust and iron
For the devil makes work for idle hands.
I promise to vote in elections, be they general or local,
And I promise to open direct debit payments to charities;
I will do vast amounts of voluntary work for the Samaritans,
And I will renounce sleep and impure thoughts
And take down my Germany 1 England 5 poster.
All of these things I promise God
And there could be so much more that I could add
But I need to clean the bath
And so I’m a bit busy,
But all of these things I promise God,
In return for just one or two small favours –
Please allow England to beat Brazil without the agony,
The agony of the golden goal
Or the ecstasy of penalties;
Could you see your way to, say, one-nil,
Score after 70 minutes and then hang on for 20?
That would be a nice balance between pleasure and penance,
Would it not, God,
And should guarantee a God-fearing society,
And certainly, a dutiful me.
I look forward to hearing from you, God,
Round about a quarter to nine on Friday morning.
Yours in hope,
The Pilgrim.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/dear-god-please-let-england-beat-brazil/