Error Terror

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 We embrace the foreign coaches
They add something to our game
Ours picked the team each week
I heard him call my name

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I was stunned and yet excited
I ran to fetch my gloves
I was more keen than ready
But I warmed up with the subs

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I’d never made the team before
This was, then, my debut
With no kin present to support me
Enemies would have to do

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 As ‘keeper I proved unpopular
Lasting one half between the sticks
By then I’d let in several goals
Plus corners and two spot-kicks

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The coach called me lots of things
Though I understood not one word
It sounded like “Complaint You Slice”
The lads said I misheard

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 I tried to stick up for myself
But, like the team, had no defence
“You’re the one who picked me for goal
I didn’t think it made much sense

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 I’ve never played for you before
So why pick me today?
I wouldn’t have worn me wellies
If I’d known I was gonna play”

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The coach didn’t stop shouting
Every other word began with ‘F’
He accused me of ignoring orders
(He was purple and short of breath)

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 I’ve been around for some time now
You know that Ingle is my name
The coach said ‘Ingle’: I heard “In-Goal!”
To me they were the same

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 We all have to start somewhere
I’m not alone in a bad debut
At least in those faraway days
There was nothing like you.tube!



Every mistake – highlighted, circled, shown a dozen times from various angles, in slowmo – got to feel sorry for todays debutantes. Some of the howlers are unbelievable, you couldn’t make it up! (well, I could, obviously…)

Please forgive my trifling trivia – it’s just that the ‘real world’ of football has somewhat lost its joy lately…

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/error-terror/