1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 If you feel the worlds against you
As you struggle through the game
Take a deep breath, try and be sensible
It’s nowt but a passing (sic) phase!&%!

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 If assistant hoists his flag high
Though the offside trap was sprung
Then officialdom ignore your pleas of why?
When the full time whistle comes.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 If your keeper and defender
Ain’t speaking the same tongue
As the under-dogs at Wemberly
Nick the spoils and win two-one.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 If the injured list is getting long
As the yellow cards are raised
And away fans sing their tawdry songs
Even though their teams outplayed.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 If the beautiful passing game you play
Isn’t finishing (sic) up in goals
Take it on the chin, it’s just not your day
As per draw against the O’s

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 If the stout have turned and faced away
When the free kicks rain on in
Even though your centre forward swears he’s great
He’s forgot the art of scoring.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 If your captain speaks of lucrative moves
Through The London Evening News
As his agent looks for pastures new
To San Siro or Camp Nou.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 If in the space of a fortnight
You’ve been humbled in two Cups
Turn the other cheek, next up it’s Man United
And there’s still time to catch them up.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 If the peak is there within your reach
As the team above drop points
You’ll stick with the style of play you preach
Like the Emirate punters want.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 If Cesc don’t do the business
And Arshavin’s having a ‘mare’
Look skyward as Gods your witness
Better that, than to stand and swear.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 If the fourth official looks away
As you plead your case in vain
Kick the magic sponge, get Pat Rice to play
He’d be grateful of one more game.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 If your season should take the turn toward winning
And them Manc’s are overcome
Be sure to savour every minute, wallowing in ’em.
As worthy champs….. Mr Wenger son!

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Kev 2011


With sincere apologies to Rudyard Kipling and The Arsenal. As fellow Londoners and me wallowed in the misfortune of The Arsenal and Arsene Wenger, you’ve got to be totally honest and wonder what else can possibly go wrong with their season? One misfortune after another seems to come out of nowhere trying to jinx their efforts to land a bit of silverware, biting them repeatedly on the derriere.

Listening to Gooners on Radio 5 Live the other night after the Barca debacle, and guilty of extracting the Michael for a short while, I finally mellowed and really felt their anguish as they phoned in, complaining of the Gods being totally against them this season, and looking back on events of the last couple of weeks, I have to say hand on heart I absolutely agree with them.

Despite his whinging (and who could blame him, after what’s gone down?) Wenger is to admired for not changing his wonderful style of attacking approach play no matter what, he’s to be commended for that at least isn’t he? As for the title? It’s surely theirs to win and United’s to lose.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/if-3/