Jayo’s Getting Married

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Once they get married, they’re never the same.
Their brides like to fill them with chips.
And soon they are struggling to last out the game,
Because of the weight on their hips.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Their speed and their sharpness are things of the past,
Their wives don’t know how to cook pasta.
And many of those who are not very fast
Will certainly not get much faster.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 A bride likes to practise with burgers and fries,
While the manager weeps in frustration,
And, seeing how hard his beloved wife tries,
He’ll offer up no protestation.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 He’ll smile rather weakly at what she produces,
And gobble it up very quickly.
No matter the weight gain her cooking induces,
No matter that he’s feeling sickly.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 For marriage is all about pleasing your spouse,
It’s a terribly slow learning curve,
And he’ll put up with much when he’s in his own house,
Because of that strange thing called leurve.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 So well done to Jayo, that hat-trick was sweet,
And happy returns for the wedding,
But you’ll have to regurgitate much that you eat,
Or you’ll find it too much to be shedding.


Jason Byrne celebrates his stag night with his first hat-trick for Shels against Dublin City. Thanks for the memories, Jay, it was great seeing you in your prime.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/jayos-getting-married/