Mea Culpa

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I’d a very funny feeling in my water,
A premonition, allied to fatigue.
I didn’t feel at all like a supporter
Whose weary team had lately won the league.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 While Stewie gave his famous rant on telly,
While Bohs supporters trooped out of the ground,
I had a sinking feeling in my belly
Not shared, it seemed, by Reds’ fans all around.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 It felt more like an end than a beginning,
A brilliant dream from which I’d woken up.
I couldn’t share in all the glee at winning
As Owen hoisted high that silver cup.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 And so, as all the celebrations started
I walked down to the far end of the pitch.
By nature, I don’t really get downhearted,
I knew ‘twas but a temporary glitch.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 I stood there in the goalmouth where just lately
Glenn Crowe had notched that all important goal.
The impact of that moment touched me greatly –
Ironic how he’d played the starring role.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 And right about the spot where he had twisted
And sent us jumping high and praising God,
A divot sat, on end and strangely listed,
A sad and lonely, most pathetic sod.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 I found a tissue deep within my pocket
And wrapped it round that fractured lump of earth,
A souvenir perhaps of Glenn Crowe’s rocket
That engineered this merriment and mirth.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Next morning, underneath the sprawling willow,
I planted it with compost from the shed,
A memory of Hawks and Scouse and Dillo
And all the mighty heroes who wore red.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 I never knew the harm that I was doing,
The pristine pitch was now left rough and crude.
The row ‘twixt us and Rovers that was brewing
Was all down to my thieving attitude.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 And so, to Mr. Scully, Mr. Keely,
‘Twas me that caused your most unseemly ruck.
The awful state of Tolka’s surface really
Can be traced back to that divot that I took.



Shels’ tenants, Shamrock Rovers, complaining about the state of the Tolka Park pitch

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/mea-culpa/