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It’s five and twenty to three of a Saturday
West Londoners strolling the streets
Can’t believe what they’re seeing/hearing as Everton’s gaffer
Pleads with each travelling Scouser he meets.
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“We can’t field a full team
Wanna realize your dream
And play for us Toffee’s at three?
Old Joe Corrigan’s game
So we’ve chalked in his name
As Tim Howard’s aged understudy”
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Well put out a scratch team Everton did
Who made an under fire gaffer right proud
Yakubu was the only pro alongside five kids
As the subs names were tossed to the crowd.
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Two young players sat near the dugout
Didn’t even have their names in the programme
And the travelling Evertonians made mugs
Out of us Londoners, as they showed it’s about a team game.
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As an assassinated Jo
Did a quite theatrical roll
“Oh he’s doing a Drogba” was heard
Our bang in form strikers
Name’s now used to describe
Every low life what sinks shot to the turf.
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As a foot-balling feast for the public
Was served up by two stricken sides:
Us with our problems of dealing with free kicks,
Everton putting the brakes on their slide.
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Late in the game as some illusions were shattered
Of smug West Londoners expecting an easy win
“Oi Drogba start working for that hundred grand a week”
Sang out from those not used to home draws or losing.
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All in all a great event
And I’m well pleased I went
Though I turned up as we went one nil down
The scratch Everton team and their fans
Made a tough nail biting match
The best one this term at our ground!