Owed to Alan Hansen (You’ll Never Win Anything With Kids)

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 You’ll never catch Newcastle, they’re the best team in the land.
Maybe Liverpool will push them, but it’s really in their hands.
You’ve sold your best three players, your defence is on the skids,
I’ve said it all along you don’t win anything with kids.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Eric was suspended, Andy Cole was shooting blanks,
The men who bet against you had their money in the banks.
12 points back and you were fighting for that Euro place,
I’ve said it all along, those kids will not last the pace.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 With injuries to your back four, you had to take a chance,
But even William Prunier could not help you advance.
Where was the Saviour Chequebook of the Kevin’s and the Roy’s,
I’ve said it all along you don’t win anything with boys.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 You won some games but surely ‘luck’ like this can’t be sustained.
The others started dropping points, the race would be maintained.
Liverpool then fell away, too much for them to do,
Let me remind you once again, your kids won’t see it through.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The last few weeks would hold the key both on and off the field.
For it was in both places, that truths would be revealed.
Who would crack with the strain and who would rise above it,
Who can forget when Kevin said “I’ll love it if we beat them, love it!”

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 So who would do it on the pitch, who’d get the vital goal?
Daveed? Tino? Ferdinand? No, May and Andy Cole.
Two much maligned players whose careers had been in trouble,
Found the net and found themselves half way to the Double.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 The ‘experts’ in the BBC, decided 3 to 1.
The cup was there for Liverpool, just waiting to be won.
But no-one thought to tell the kids or Eric it was set.
A dreadful game, a brilliant spark, the Frenchman found the net.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 They think that it’s all over but it’s only just begun.
The kids are here to dominate for years and years to come.
The next step now is Europe where each kid becomes a man,
But don’t concern yourselves with that, just catch them if you can.


Fergie sold Mark Hughes, Paul Ince and Andrei Kanchelskis. Alan Hansen doubted United’s ability to win with kids, both at the start of the season and on the morning of the Cup Final. This was written the day after the 1996 FA Cup Final.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/owed-to-alan-hansen-youll-never-win-anything-with-kids/