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Shaun Wright-Phillips and the Sheep

Peter Goulding

Monday, November 22nd, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Shaun Wright-Phillips acquired a pet ram.
He picked it up reasonably cheapish,
But when it is mentioned,
He gets hyper-tensioned,
And looks quite embarrassed and sheepish.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 It costs him a sizeable fortune
To feed this most ravenous beast.
Financial advisers,
All sheep-hating misers,
Declare that the lad has been fleeced.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Now Shaun gets unmerciful slagging,
But he knows that its par for the course,
But the red mist descends
When some unthinking friends
Discuss the appeal of mint sauce.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 The sheep goes to all of the matches,
And viciously bleats at the ref,
And it’s never freaked out
By the crowd round about,
Because it is quite Mutton Jeff.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 It stayed well indoors for the Wolves match
(The dangers could not have been clearer.)
And it ran off in shame
At the Newcastle game,
Afraid it might meet Alan Shearer.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 The fleece of this ovine companion
Was the talk of the entire town.
In Winter, it fully
Grew fluffy and woolly,
But in Spring, it was Shaun Wright-Down.

© Peter Goulding 22nd November 2004

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/shaun-wright-phillips-and-the-sheep/