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The Great Pats Summer Sale

Peter Goulding

Thursday, July 22nd, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Straying far from my abode,
I wandered down the Emmet Road.
Guided by that morning’s Indo
I made my way to Pats’ club window,
Where, standing ‘round like tailors’ dummies,
Were players, holding in their tummies.
“Massive Sale” proclaimed a banner,
“Prices Starting at a Tanner.”
“Come and Grab Yourself a Bargain,”
Screamed the advertising jargon.
Adamson, Pats’ pretty goalie,
And defender Colm Foley,
Both were bought by one old crone
Who claimed them as her very own,
And said she couldn’t wait to train ‘em
At her home back in Kilmainham.
Some women climbed o’er Oso madly,
Checked his teeth, then tutted sadly,
Transferred their gazes to young Foy,
Who seemed a much more virile boy.
But then my wandering gaze did stop
Upon a sign within the shop,
With letters twenty inches deep,
Saying “Tony Bird – Going Cheep.”

© Peter Goulding 22nd July 2004

Notes

Shouldn’t really laugh. Pats entire squad are up for sale. If some of our unbelievably rich tycoons were to pump a tenth of what they pump into Celtic and Man Utd, into the eircom League, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/the-great-pats-summer-sale/