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The Pharaoh Aisles

Peter Goulding

Sunday, March 7th, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 As the sky with passion thunders,
Our great leader gropes and blunders.
Is it stubbornness, one wonders,
Allied to a wilful pride?

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The Israelites, as one supposes,
Led with great panache by Moses,
Cleared the sea and smelled the roses
Growing on the other side.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Unprepared, our troops have followed
Through this channel, newly hollowed,
Destined to be caught and swallowed
‘Ere we firmly gain our stride.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Fran has told us not to worry,
Not to do things in a flurry.
Don’t despair, there is no hurry,
Exemptions surely will abide.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Yet, the sea looks quite uneasy,
And the sea’s turned stiff and breezy,
The troops are feeling scared and queasy,
Now their fretting hands are tied.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Thunder’s pealing, lightning’s flashing,
Several voices call for dashing,
‘Ere the mighty waves come crashing,
There is nowhere left to hide.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 One small band of men is reckoned
To have gained the shore, and beckoned
To us all, lest any second,
Pers’nal safety is denied.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Time is short, the ground is quaking,
The wall of water, frothing, shaking,
Several white-topped waves are breaking.
Can it ever be defied?

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Surely now’s the time to panic,
Shed all calm, and run with manic
Haste across the broad, satanic
Stretch of looming, rising tide?

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 But our leader, calm, collected,
Confident and well-respected,
Plods along quite unaffected,
Slowly ‘cross the great divide.

© Peter Goulding 7th March 2004

Notes

Well, we’ve surpassed ourselves again. The FAI encourages league clubs to try for a new UEFA licence a year early. Basically, you need an A licence to compete in the Premier League and Europe, and a B licence only entitles you to compete in the second division.
As it happens, only one club [Derry] has attained an A licence. Our beloved chairman says, sure, its okay, we’re doing it a year early, UEFA will give us an exemption for a year. UEFA replies, no way, matey, rules is rules. So, less than a fortnight before the “proposed” start of the season, we have a one-team Premier Division, and a 21 team first division. Shels, Bohs, Cork and Longford are barred from their respective European competitions, and nobody seems struck by the urgewncy of the situation. At time of writing, it seems unlikely that the league will start on time, if at all.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/the-pharaoh-aisles/