The Rob Styles Files

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Went down to the County Ground
for Bristol Rovers Swindon Town;
a local derby in League One,
certain that I’d have some ‘fun’.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 No household names on either side,
not what I’m used to I’m afraid.
I know the Town boss is a Jock,
goes by the name of Paul Sturrock.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Dressing room facilities poor,
mud and chipped tiles line the floor.
Hardly room to swing a cat,
must admit I’m feeling flat.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 First half is a dull affair,
ball spends much time in the air.
Whole game really rather dull,
would sooner ref a game in Hull.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 More drab fare in second half,
so thought that I would have a laugh
and give Swindon Town a penalty
after a ‘trip’ in front of me.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Not really a penalty kick,
but have to get it going a bit.
A nonentity steps up, confident
to smash the ball into the net.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Minutes later – ugly melee
and even though I’m not on telly,
dismiss 3 men from field of play –
for their fighting they must pay.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Now it’s livening up a bit:
10 v 9 is more like it.
P’raps I could make it four
if I send off just one more.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Yes! A foolish player dives in;
I think we’ll see the back of him.
9 v 9 is how it ends;
I know I’ve had the best of games.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Sunday back in Premiership,
really do not mind this trip:
West Ham v Spurs at Upton Park;
relief! I’m mixing with the stars.



Is there a worst referee than Rob Styles. (THis is more a statement than a question.) His performance at the County Ground yesterday was from the ‘look at me, I’m a Premiership ref’ school. Now that I’ve started there may yet be more from the Rob Styles files another time.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/the-rob-styles-files/